needles(s) to say

Don't you hate when you are so close, yet so far. That kind of frustration is maddening. Finals are over. Summer is here, sort of. I don't really have a break of any kind, which is fine. I enjoy being busy, but at the same time I want to get away, even if just for the weekend. We have one weekend getaway planned, and it is coming up. Tahoe. I love it. Now, to make the next trip happen. Thailand? Iceland? Philippines? India?!?! Sigh. Something.

Had bone marrow biopsy today. It was just one in a battery of recent tests. It was a sickening feeling, sound, experience. I am glad I did it, as I know it was important to finding out what the hell is going on, but it's not something I ever want to experience again. The internal sounds of the needle piercing the bone and carving away the marrow was enough to drive anyone nuts, let alone the intense pressure and pain that goes along with digging in your bones for a little sample of the good stuff. I now find myself laying on a heating pad, nursing myself back to health, rallying up for the next test, endoscopy\colonoscopy. I've done that one before, and although it's not pretty, I know I can get through it with less anxiety and panic than I did today.

This weekend is supposed to be nice. We are having a small BBQ, going to see Far, and heading up to my aunts. All things that should prove to be amazing. I would like to be outside, tired of being sick. It is so draining on the psyche. Today, I was literally sad\upset\worried when I found out I didn't have the soup I wanted. Something quickly fixed by a nap, an ice pack, and a sweet boyfriend with access to Safeway. Today was a long day. I need to get out for more than school and work, which should be easier now with school done, and the weather cooperating.

Here's to sunny moods, sunny results, and sunny days.