Holiday Haul

I cannot believe that Christmas has already come and gone. We did Meals on Wheels again, although for some reason it seemed more challenging than years past. Maybe because we don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese. We'll work on this for next year.

This year was definitely more about giving than receiving and it was so refreshing, although I did receive some amazing things...

Case en point:
Two new knitted hats. Notice the mustard :)

The calendar I wanted.

An amazing stencil of Ms. Ampersand herself, from Brad.

Even robots love me.

Powerberries, along with other sweet treats filled my stocking.

My Jonsi-esque scarf that Kristine got me.

Matryoshka measuring cups! It's nice when things fit so nicely into one another.


I also got tickets to see Against Me! at Slims in February, a nearly complete\to-be-finished drawing of me an Ampersand stippled, some pots and pans, a cookbook, a new coffee mug, and some other odds and ends. All of my gifts were so spot on, it was quite impressive and so loving.

Over the break I am hoping to take it easy. To hop from coffee shop to coffee shop, and catch up on my reading. I am sad to say that I have fallen behind in my reading, not that I had a schedule, but more that I have not had the free time to lounge and read for pleasure like I used to, and therefore have not powered through some of the books I had hoped I would. Next on the list are: (Finish) Dark Tower Series, (Finish) Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, The Chisellers, and maybe one more.

I want to learn how to play the violin, or cello, or ukulele, or guitar. Another hobby to add to my list of new ones. But for now, I suppose I'll stick to the other hobbies I have since abandoned during the daunting months of school.

The crazy inbetween

The crazy transition between Thanksgiving and Christmas, between Fall and Winter is in full swing.

I picked up some new hobbies along the way:


At my work we paint patients fingernails. We are getting really good. We can overcome any obstacle, IV's, tubes, tremors, we do it all.


Baked Brie with festive Poinsettia, which no matter how hard I try comes out as if I am trying to say Quincenera. I don't know why I don't know how. But I know it tastes good.



Baking, along with cheese, cake is a favorite. Checkerboard cake adds a special touch. For my first time, I think it came out pretty good.


Colonel Mustard. Just one more private in my army of Mustard Love. Bought this gem a few weeks back, and have gone on a couple bike rides. Looking forward to going on more with finals coming to an end.



Winter is here:


This is the bridge over the creek that I walk over everyday to come home. I love it, it's always so pretty and the sounds of the leaves blowing and water trickling are so stereotypically calming. On a darker note, there was also a dead squirrel that someone had put on the side of bridge after he was run over. I had been watching him decay over the last 2 months and he finally turned into bones and dirt. It was disgustingly cool. I'm disgustingly cool.


It has been raining. I love it, but wish I could enjoy it more. I have been either stuck in school or stuck in work, watching out the windows. My collection of rainboots have been put to good use thus far. Miles says no more boots, but I just love them so.


A throwback to kindergarten: Candy Cane Rudolph. I made these with my patients, they loved them; it's the simple things. When I asked one of them later that day what she had made, as she had it sticking out of her chest pocket, she said "a horse." A Christmas horse.


Christmas shopping has been 90% done since Thanksgiving. I finished my final items, stocking things and friends this weekend. The final put-together gifts are all that need to be completed.

Let's get through this week and then take some time to take in the holiday spirit.

Giving thanks.

It seems a little crazy that it is already Thanksgiving, and then less than a month away is Christmas.

There has been so much that has changed in the last year, and still so much that remains painstakingly the same.

I am thankful for the following, including, but not limited to:

-my family and their support
-my friends, new and old
-miles, for all of the memories we have created and continue to make
-my health, even with some small bumps in the road...
-music and the amazing ability it has to free yourself from anything
-that I am able to pay all of my bills, and still have money for both myself and some extras along the way
-my home and security



It's weird to think that some people only take one day out of the year to reflect on the things they are grateful for. I would like to think that I am thankful year round, and that I share my gratitude with those around me, even on my worst of days. I am sure this is not completely true, but rather something to strive for.

We are going up to my aunt's in Auburn for a few days. Thanksgiving with the whole family is always fun, and filling. Being up there, with all the openness and country-ness makes you feel like you are on a little mini-vacation. Since I never got the vacation I so desperately wanted and needed, I will take all I can get to get away for little bit.

Type. Delete. Type. Type Type. Delete. Delete. Type.

Keep calm and carry on.

it's probably in the lost and found.

I have been reconnecting with some friends as of recently. They weren't lost, just misplaced. It feels right.

School everyday, work everyday. Everyday. It's a lot. Thankfully I have those select few that can relate, understand, and therefore deal with my need to sometimes vent. To them, I say thank you.

On a better note, I think I have figured out my plan for school. Said plan includes two more years, which is fine, but the best news is that I am hoping to be able to do it debt free. I have not taken out any loans for school as of yet, and I do not plan on it. Who wants to graduate and enter the career world with 100k in loans to pay back? Not I.

Families are so complicated. It's funny how they judge, but then when things happen to them, they are qucik to sweep it under the rug. Or conveniently 'forget.' I am at a good place. I love my family, I have never been closer with them, and confided in them as much as I do now. It makes me sad when I see people unhappy with their family, not fulfilling their duties as Mom or Dad, or choosing to be absent. I hope I can do what my Mom did for me when I have kids. This world is too nuts to not have your mommy.

In one of my classes we have spent the better part of the last two weeks debating, arguing, and sometimes even agreeing on values needed for an ideal society. We were only allowed to pick 5 top values out of a list of 15 or so. Sounds easy, but it wasn't. We could not vote, we could not use majority rule, one value could not also 'count' for another, no 2-fers. So we were not able to say that, if we have freedom, then we also have equality, or if we have self-respect we also have happiness. We had to come to a consensus, much like a jury would do. EVERYONE had to agree until we could move on. We now have 4\5. Happiness, Equality, Freedom, and Wisdom...the final debate has been between Family Security and World at Peace. No one can agree, there's always that one person that will not budge on the issue. I am loving it and hating it all at the same time.

I'm a little all over the place. Yoga has been helping with this, thank god for Direct TV...namaste.

go sing too loud, make your voice break

The last two weeks have been r-ou-gh. School is swamping me. Whose idea was it to take thse two lab classes at the same time? The future of my school is so uncertain it's maddening. Work is chaotic, that is the only word to describe it. Never been crazier. And we are still settling in to our new place.

I think that has been the only thing keeping me sane. Our new place. Having a kitchen, a KITCHEN! Not just a microwave and half of a fridge\semi-freezer, but a real-life kitchen where you can real-life cook, has been amazing. Not to mention a ton more space, a backyard free of spiders the size of your fist and a bathroom that isn't right next to your food. We are happy, and content with our new little home. Ampersand is in love. She has made good friends with the squirrels that play in the tree in our backyard.

Our fridge complete with Steven the giraffe and a very life-like drawing of Micahel Jackson.


We can make these now. Which could be a bad thing...


We ran out of homes for our books. They are stacking up on the floor...


Backyard. Squirrel playground.



Last night we took a walk with Daniel down the Iron Horse Trail, which is right behind our place, to Blush, an organic yogurt place. It is to die for. It's really fun and unique flavors with just as interesting toppings, plus they have a station where you can play your own iPod. I think we will be frequenting this place more and more.

Pumpkin Blush is delicious. (Pumpkin anything is delicious, but everyone knows this)



Today in the bookstore I went to get some hot tea, and at the cashier they had "Calm Lozenges" I thought about buying them. But then thought that was too much. If it wasn't for the company of my iPod, I wouldn't make it through the day.

leggings in boxes

Lately I have an obsession with leggings. I love colorful leggings. I love patterned leggings. I love lacey leggings. I love alliteration.





We found a place. Deposit goes down today. Moving to commense shortly thereafter. This feels good, this feels necessary.


I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn’t have thought so much.

Moving out, moving on.

Moving out come October. Not 'out' necessarily, as we are already out. We are really moving-new. Looking at some places here and there, Craigslisting like mad. It's all very exciting and anxiety provoking. Money is so annoying. We should really just try trading a paperclip for a house like that one guy.


Work is fun. I missed working here, the people, the patients. I think Kris and I are going to plan a Homecoming\Prom for the patients, with a Queen and King, complete with a photo station and apple cider. Everyday I go I get the best compliments, and some of the most blunt observations about myself from all of the patients, there is no filter, but I love them anyway.

Labor day weekend we went on a family-spree. First we visited Miles' mom and her friend Stan, spent the night, had breakfast. It was so nice to catch up with her and spend some time with her, as we live so far away. The next day we went to my Aunt's and had a day full of bbq. My cousins were there, along with their 5 dogs and the horse. It was a lot of fun, I wish it happened more often.
Picnic weekends.

Machete.

Meet Mama.

Last Monday we went boating on Lake Berryessa one more time for the season. It's amazing how we kept it up. We all skied, and relaxed, swam in the lake with pups, it was a really nice ending to summer.

Even the pups were relaxed.


This last weekend we did the Alzheimers Memory walk. It was amazing to see how many people showed up and turned out for such a cause. It was a nice 3 mile walk with friends down the Embarcadero with out of the norm beautifully warm weather. It just happened to be on 9\11, oddly enough. My facility raised something like $7,000 alone, and our company somewhere along the lines of $100,000! Really great, since a lot of our patients are affected by this disease.

As exciting as some of these things are, I think I am ready for the next month to be done, and for things to be back in place.

the weeks are flying.

Classes galore. I am back in school for a final push to finish the pre-requisites. Working while trying to do these classes is like running marathon, I start out strong, I pace myself in the middle, and I sprint towards the end. My days are filled between lectures, labs, work, studying, and some sort of social life. I will be so happy when I am done.

With the start of school, also came the return of the Care Center. I'm really happy to be back. I missed all of the patients and staff. It was sad to come back and see that some of them had died while I was away, and that I had missed seeing them go, never getting a chance to say my goodbye. I'm sure they were in good hands though.

Planing for the next 2-3 years is daunting. Planing for the next week can be daunting. Figuring out when I will need to actually get that dreaded loan, when I will need to have a real job, etc. Miles and I have talked and talked a lot in the last few weeks. Working the little nuances of finances and living arrangements and future plans out. Talking is the easy part. Now we are coming to the point where we actually need to be doing what we have talked so much about. I am so excited, and nervous, and scared, and anxiuos, and happpy all rolled into this one big emotional ball rolling down this hill towards the next few months and years.

Mom and Haley got back from their Europe trip. I am so glad they had such a great time. They needed this adventure to connect. Haley is a Junior, and thinking about colleges, and that kind of thing, and this was a nice time for them to do something together and on their own. They went all over the place, they even went to Buckingham Palace and saw Prince Charles and Camilla, tons of castles and pubs. They basically had fun drinking and frolicking their awkward little way's through Europe together with the drinking age only being 16. :)

Jonah last weekend, Jonah this weekend + boating. Sounds pretty alright to me.

141 days

For the past few days I have wanted it to be Christmas season. December. Maybe its the fact that it feels like winter in August, maybe I like when everyone is in higher spirits, which in turn puts me in higher spirits, maybe I just like all the lights against the dark sky that come with that time of year. Either way, I'm ready for Christmas, just 141 more days to go.

Speaking of Christmas and the days around it... I never made a new years resolution last year, but I have been consciously trying to work on speaking my mind in a more timely manner. I have a habit of keeping things in until they are bothering me so much it is unbearable, at which time I finally get around to talking them out. Lately I have been trying to speak what I am feeling\thinking when I am feeling\thinking it. It has worked in my favor, I feel better, more calm at the end of the day, less anxious about little things.

Ampersand is being extra cuddly while we have the place to ourselves tonight until Miles gets home. More and more talk of moving, getting a pup, even if it's just talk, it's so exciting and motivating. I love us.

((If you are done, then they are done.))
((Situational frustration. Stationary manipulation.))
((It feels good when we connect the way we do. We always connect. I always feel good.))

cashing in

The summer is flying by.

The Care Center job is temporarily on hold while Quest is in full swing. Week 4 to be exact. The kids are definitely making us work hard for our money this year. With our group maxed out, me, Miles and our co-counselor Adam have our hands full. The stories go on and on... there is always someone running, falling, puking, pooping, crying, screaming...

The other things that are filling this summer up with summer-things are nice, sweet little weekend trips, evening outings, and cuddly nights. We went white-water rafting again, except bigger and better this time. There was 'carnage' as they call it. People fell out of boats, rapids were big and cold. It was awesome, and I want more. We went boat-back riding (as I used to call it when I was little) with the family. A nice day on the lake cures all worries, you forget everything, soak up the sun, drink way too much lake water when you eat-shit wakeboarding, kneeboarding, tubing, etc. and just relax.

While I have been having a fun summer with the aforementioned things, I haven't had the one thing I have wanted\needed\asked for since March. A vacation. We went to Tahoe in June with my family. The annual hike to Lake Angora. It was nice. But it was no vacation. I am coming to the disappointing terms with it, and have decided to go to one of my best friends graduations in Hawaii in December no matter what. But still...all I wanted\needed\asked for, and here we are, middle of July with no plans, and no vacation had. So, here's to December!

Seems like everyone I know, or am somehow around, working with, what have you, is getting married, having babies, moving into a bigger place...you know, doing grown-up things. I'll be honest, there is the huge chunk of people I\we know that are still living with mom and dad, no school, no job, not going anywhere fast. But, lately, there seems to be something in the water, someone pushing fastforward- It feels good to know what I want with my future, to have a place of (sort-of...) my own, and to rely on my own paycheck to make it through the month, but sometimes I feel almost behind, and ready for more. Maybe it's a growing up thing, maybe I am one of 'them', maybe I'm ready.


'Life is a coin, spend it anyway you want, but you can only spend it once.'

If I Were...

If I were a month I’d be April.

If I were a day I’d be a lazy Saturday.

If I were a time of day I’d be late afternoon.



If I were a planet I’d be Pluto(?).

If I were a sea animal I’d be a sea otter.

If I were a direction I’d be South-West.

If I were a piece of furniture I’d be a giant bed with fluffy comforter, no sheets.


If I were a liquid I’d be a chilled redbull.

If I were a gemstone I’d be an amethyst.

If I were a tree I’d be a willow, swaying in the breeze.

If I were a tool I’d be plier.

If I were a flower I’d be a gerber daisy.



If I were an element of weather I’d be a raindrop, sliding down a window.

If I were a musical instrument I’d be a violin.

If I were a color I'd be purple.

If I were an emotion I’d be love.

If I were a fruit I’d be a peach.


If I were a sound I’d be a rainstorm and laughter by a fire.

If I were an element I'd be Oxygen.

If I were a pair of shoes I’d be worn and molded only to me.

If I were a car I’d be a vintage bug.

If I were a food I’d be a colorful salad.

If I were a place I’d be a lake.

If I were a material I'd be silk.



If I were a taste I’d be salty.

If I were a scent I’d be the comfort of magnolia and freesia.

If I were a body part I’d be a hand to hold.

If I were a song I’d be Every Mistake.

If I were a bird I'd be an owl.

If I were a gift I'd be homemade.

If I were a city I'd be San Francisco.


If I were a door I'd be always open.

If I were me I'd be...

needles(s) to say

Don't you hate when you are so close, yet so far. That kind of frustration is maddening. Finals are over. Summer is here, sort of. I don't really have a break of any kind, which is fine. I enjoy being busy, but at the same time I want to get away, even if just for the weekend. We have one weekend getaway planned, and it is coming up. Tahoe. I love it. Now, to make the next trip happen. Thailand? Iceland? Philippines? India?!?! Sigh. Something.

Had bone marrow biopsy today. It was just one in a battery of recent tests. It was a sickening feeling, sound, experience. I am glad I did it, as I know it was important to finding out what the hell is going on, but it's not something I ever want to experience again. The internal sounds of the needle piercing the bone and carving away the marrow was enough to drive anyone nuts, let alone the intense pressure and pain that goes along with digging in your bones for a little sample of the good stuff. I now find myself laying on a heating pad, nursing myself back to health, rallying up for the next test, endoscopy\colonoscopy. I've done that one before, and although it's not pretty, I know I can get through it with less anxiety and panic than I did today.

This weekend is supposed to be nice. We are having a small BBQ, going to see Far, and heading up to my aunts. All things that should prove to be amazing. I would like to be outside, tired of being sick. It is so draining on the psyche. Today, I was literally sad\upset\worried when I found out I didn't have the soup I wanted. Something quickly fixed by a nap, an ice pack, and a sweet boyfriend with access to Safeway. Today was a long day. I need to get out for more than school and work, which should be easier now with school done, and the weather cooperating.

Here's to sunny moods, sunny results, and sunny days.

this old rocking horse just nods his head

[and he's gonna rock back and forth the way that he always did]

It's finals week(s) and I don't have much to say. I was violently ill last weekend. Stomach flu. Gross. We got a new bed, which is really not that exciting to anyone else but us. However, it is overwhelmingly exciting for us, as we really needed one. We went to Bay to Breakers, or atleast the general area where it was held, on Sunday. People watched, walked around, got some breakfast, and met up with a good friend. Lately my iPhone has provided new entertainment in the form of a new photo app I stumbled upon. So instead of dragging on about the usual, I decided to post the pictures we have taken with it. So, without further ado:


Spring has sprung.

Penners.

Shmampersand.

Sunny days.

Cooperation.(?)

Daniel drove. We paid.

Just visiting.

Good morning.

Shakes not had.

Sunburn city.

numbers aren't my friend

The other weekend was nothing short of interesting. I spent it curled up in a little ball of pain, in a little dimly lit room, in a not so little hospital. Thankfully I have amazing people around me that make sure I am taken care of and hold my hand when all I really need is just to know someone is there with me. I'm doing better now, finally. New doctor has some ideas (albeit, some not-so-nice ideas, but still), and hopefully this whole mess will be figured out, because honestly, I don't think I can go through that again. The toll it took on my body was just too much.

The school year is quickly wrapping up and I am trying hard not to fall behind. Finals for classes are spread out all over the place, making it hard to schedule time to do them, let alone prepare for them.

The other day we had a Cinco De Mayo party at my work for all the patients. We had margaritas (virgin of course), churros, and nachos. Oh, and who can forget the pinata?! The patients were more excited to be outside than anything, the sun shining, and music playing, all things they miss being in a hospital setting for so long. The best part was when I gave one of my favorite (yes, I can't help it, I have a favorite) patients a margarita, and she asked for another one by saying "Oh, can I have another cloud?" She associated the fluffy blended drink with a fluffy cloud in her little confused world. It made me smile.

I am so ready for summer. I am ready for warm days, for the burn on my skin, for weekend trips and lazy evenings. I want to start reading for fun again, I want to start doing more creative things, and having time to do nothing at all. At the same time, I am ready for the next year to be over, and for time to fast forward. I guess I can't ask for it both, I can't ask for a break and for a fast forward into real life. I'll settle for the break for now.


We bought tickets to The Dead Weather and Far. Two fun and interesting bands. We haven't been to a show in about a month, which is a long dry spell for us... these will be nice little treats.


Lately, I have met, and kept in touch with some new people\friends\acquaintances. It's fun and nice to meet new friends. Especially when they are going through the same things you are.

Two more weeks of school. Four more weeks of Care Center. Five weeks until Quest. Thirteen weeks until it all starts again. Nothing really big to look forward to in terms of all of this. I suppose getting it all done, feeling that sense of accomplishment. It's all just a numbers game.

just call me Polly P.

The weather is nice. Every other day it seems. The sun was shining this last weekend, I missed the heat on my skin. The little burn you feel when you start to get too hot. Summer is fast approaching. School is wrapping up, atleast for now, beacuase let's be honest, it never really is over. I have given my notice for one job so that I can work another. Quest is in the forefront of my mind, wondering what little buggers we will get this year, what antics they will have in store for us all. Family vacations, lazy weekends, busy weekends, getting away and staying in it. Just summer. I couldn't be more ready for it. Now.

I have been going to the gym every day this week. It's something new, but I would like it to stay. I'd like to say that it is helping with my frustration levels. Sweating it all out. I wish talking it out did the same thing. Talk is cheap sometimes.

I helped my mom put together things for a garage sale yesterday. Needless to say we went through a lot of old stuff that I\we\everyone doesn't need, yet keeps\wants\will buy for $1.00. We put out wooden apples, because everyone needs wooden fruit in their life, we added slinkys and yo-yos and hotwheels, there are some buckets of chalk, a Barbie tent, tons of VHS's and business books, plastic lipsticks, mirrors and combs, every little girls fantasy, and even a claw-candy machine up for grabs. My mom had found (because she had saved them all these years) a whole bag full of my old Polly Pockets. These are the little plastic dolls, no bigger than your fingernail, that come in fun shaped container\houses. They are literally pocket-size, as you can fit 100's of them in your pocket, and subsequently your mouth, as they also make great choking hazards as well. My mom cheerfully informed me she was saving them for my kids, you know, in case they wanted to choke on them too. These little gems can now be yours for the choking for only $1.00. No need to worry, the toy companies got smart after our generations, and made them hand-sized, now only one fits in your mouth at a time. Where's the fun in that?


I had the one in red. She was my favorite. Mostly because I was convinced she looked like me. Must have been the curly blonde hair.

"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know."

tie strings to clouds

Why are there so many earthquakes? It seems a little ironic\ridiculous\too close to home. Someone mentioned an earthquake gun. A gun that we could use to fire high amount of energy into the ground of our targets causing catastrphic earthquakes. I don't believe it, but, what if? How crazy insane would that be? Weird to think about. Weirder to not think about, considering we live here, in earthquake country, maybe we're next?

The craziness has settled. I have settled. Settled isn't the right word. I have come to a calm conclusion that I am where I am because that's where I am. Things are still in transition. Moving from stage to stage of growing up, being a grown-up. How do you know when the transition is over? Is it ever over? I don't think so. I think you are always transitioning. Always changing into something else. Nothing is ever simple, nothing stagnant, nothing easy or free or even explainable.

((in a line. there is no fast-pass, no front of the line ticket. it's in your hands. ideas out there. thoughts spoken. feelings expressed. nothing left to do but stand still.))

We went to Wondercon and then to see Jonah play in SF the other weekend. Wondercon is always more fun for me to watch than anything else. I am familiar with some of the venues, artists, ect. through movies, graphic novels, Miles, but I really like to watch the people there, and collect neat little postcards and flyers for collaging. The people watching alone is so worth it. After milling around there for a few hours, we headed to Epicenter Cafe (earthquakes?!?) and watched Jonah perform. It was a small little cafe. It was especially sweet because it was the first time Daniel saw Jonah, as well as my mom and sister. He said he wanted to come back for his birthday show there, which would be awesome. Easy to get to, as opposed to LA like last year, and really quaint and personal.


Yesterday we attempted to try to go zipline in SF, but the line was crazy. Instead, we spent the morning strolling the Embarcadero, enjoying the sunshine and people watching. We saw the typical, and not so typical, San Francisco treats. We saw a cat on a leash with a grumpy face. A duck poking at a dead duck. Sweet puppies running amuck. An old man with OCD, relentlessly trying to make everything just right. All in all it was a nice day in the city.


Tonight is Jonsi in Berkeley. I'm really excited to see him. I love Sigur Ros and Heima, and have really enjoyed the Riceboy Sleeps album and Go. It's amazing that we will hopefully see him twice in one week, when we go to Record Store Day in SF, he will be playing at Amoeba.

There is a girl sitting next to me. She smells like cat food. She doesn't look like she would, but she does. She smells like what I fed Ampersand last night. I miss baby Amp, cuddly, crazy kitty,

Go drum, too proud. Make your hands ache. Play it out. Go march through a crowd. Make your day break...

meow

Ampersand is playing with a leaf. Endlessly playing. That's what I want to do.

Disappointment once again, when I found out SJSU set me back one class by not having credit agreements with the school I want to go to, which in turn set me back a whole year.

I am feeling rather stuck. Stuck in school forever. I enjoy learning, but I want to do something with it, and I want to do it sooner rather than later. Stuck here. Literally. Stuck here. Figuratively. Stuck with the un-immediate family I have, and their uncooperative-hatefulness. Stuck.

Last time I wrote about things I want to do, yet everything seems to be moving so slowly. Hopefully time will speed up in the next few weeks. I'm on break, from the school that I actually go to, but not my online classes. I want to do something, but it looks rather unlikely.

I am taking care of three kittens and their mama at work for pet therapy when they are older. They were the best thing in my day today, their sweet little faces and piercing blue eyes.

I don't want to write anymore, because I have nothing else positive to say, I'm just in that kind of a mood with all that has been going on, and subsequently, not been going on...

make a wish.

A hamster stuck in one of those annoyingly funny plastic balls. Running into walls and chairlegs. That's where I am at this week.

Hanging out with friends more and more. Persian New Year last weekend was a blast. Surrounded by people I don't know speaking a language I don't know, yet somehow feeling that sense of family and love. It's indescribable. Nikoo's family is so welcoming and well, I suppose full of life and zest if the best way to try and describe them. There really are no words. I loved it, every crazy, inappropriate touching-second of it.

A fashion show put on by a friend for American Cancer Society this weekend. Should be a fun little get together. Fun to watch if nothing else. It always feels nice to give back, even if all I can give is money and my time.

I am on a dress buying\searching\needing binge. I really love the ones I have gotten so far. now I just need to actually wear them and not just go back to the ever trustworthy jeans and a tees.

Here's to the next few days, and the tides calming.