In the blur of serenity

An amazingly fun and filled weekend. Started off with the surreal experience that was NIN\JA. Traveled down to shoreline with hours to kill and no confirmation, but with plenty of hopes of actually getting to meet the band, and being apart of something so much bigger than me. Miles and I sat around Starbucks, nothing unfamiliar for us, and waited. We finally got pre-sale tickets, and some information regarding the donation and soundcheck meet and greet package. Some more waiting, and by 4:45 we were lead through the front gates and into the ampitheatre where NIN was ready and waiting. They played four songs just for us, and we were front and center. It was a carefree kind of private concert.

So awesome. 

They left the stage and Street Sweeper Social Club was up. They were a lot of fun. I'm excited to see what they come up with for their album and to see them live again. Then it was meet and greet time. The best part was when they band member introduced themselves as if you didn't already know who they were. Nice guys. Trent, of course, was the highlight, although Robin Finck is a close second. The rest of the night consisted of friends, new and old, Rock Band, live and electronic... JA was fun to watch. Crazy by all means, atleast in stage performance, but fun nonetheless, all I could do was laugh. one of the best concerts I have been to, my first, and unfortunately maybe last NIN show. 

The trip is less than two weeks away. Trains are booked. It's funny how people are coming out of the wood-work to help out and offer their advice and support on such an amazing experience.

 Makes it that much more memorable. I hope everyone remembers their P's and Q's so to speak... 

This weekends adventure=river rafting. Never been, always wanted to. Should be fun. 

side effects are outweighing the benefits. Not sure how much more I can take.

I like hotdogs and flank steak. I like to eat for free even more. I hope this continues, but I feel like it won't.

[The flowers of naivete, buried in a layer of frost. The smell of sunshine. Sweet smell of sunshine.]

You got to curl yourself into a circle.

Cleaning up the mess that was my decision. I had unhelpful help. Moral support, if you will.

Mom is watching the 'The Bachelorette.' For some reason it made me chuckle and then feel incredible sad for her all at the same time. I think because she has been talking so openly about wanting to "get out there" and wanting "to have someone" lately, and then watching her watch and talk about this reality show with this fake woman getting a fake chance of fake men with fake love... I don't know, caught me off guard. I want her to be happy. I want her to have someone.

Reuniting with old friends feels good. Smiles.

Stomach-ache-city, it feels like I can never catch my breath. I'm wondering if this is worth it. Wednesday will tell. Of all the ones I have been through, I am hoping you have my answers. Otherwise, I am giving up on giving in, and saying fuck all and never coming back. The end.

[I will tear myself apart, if you promise to paint me as a work of art.]

I just want to dance in your tangles.

Dear: Pens and Fancy Paper Tubes

Stop being swollen. You're hurting me.

From: Ears

Dear: Paris

Why won't you give us a couch?!

From: Poor People

Dear: Switzerland

Thank you for giving us a couch. Now teach Paris your ways.

From: Grateful

Dear: KS

You make me sick. ((Edit: today you surprised me))

From: Humanity

Dear: Money

Why must you always be at war with me? Why is there never a happy balance? I hope we can rectify this situation sometime soon. 

From: Bleeding Bank Account

Everything seems to be falling into place quite nicely. A little too nicely. The meeting went really well. I'm ahead of the game when it comes to GPA and credits. Now I just need to finish those last few classes. Just. hah.

The trip is fast approaching. Plans are being finalized. Couch-Surfing will be an amazing experience. I hope that people are as open-minded as they claim to be, I would assume they would be to be apart of such an amazing, trusting, and care-free type of organization.

Sometimes I wonder what people's intentions are. Not even intentions rather, but ideas, or thoughts behind their actions I guess. The last few days especially. 

People blowing you off never feels good. Today it hurt because it was my mom. Weird. 

Finished book number 3 of the Dark Tower Series. I am debating whether to start number 4 before or after the trip. I am also reading The Alchemist, Candy Everybody Wants, and finishing House of Leaves once and for all. While reading at JustinBucks (twice today I might add) I ran into a multitude of old friends. It was nice to laugh and catch up with them. See how they've changed and how they haven't. Some surprised me by their growth and some by their lack thereof. It was nice to sit and reminisce about the old days, I wonder what other people around us thought as we recalled some of the memories and then laughed hysterically? I don't care, it was so worth the judgmental looks and quiet mumbles...

[To give me some reason to move, but to take on the world at all angles, requires a strength I can't use]

5.1.2k9

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

1 am

2am-9am = sleeping

10am

11 am

Noon

1pm

2pm

3pm

4pm

5pm

6pm

7pm

8pm

9pm

10pm

11pm

I miss yellow lines in my roads...

864

Things are winding down, which is just as quickly winding me up. School is done; by choice. Its a half-n-half decision. On one hand I know I made the right choice, I know I'm so much happier. But just next door is the feeling of failure, of disappointment. Lets hope the plan works, I'm sure it will. Summer is just around the corner. PVGS is becoming so much more real. Although, I guess it was real when the tickets were bought with a no refund policy. The realness now is more like a Oh shit,-it's-really-happening-and-I-couldn't-be-more-excited! kind of real. I better start getting my life re-organized, as soon as we re-enter the USofA, I have to hit the ground running for work. Two jobs, could be bad, but could be so good. I'm looking forward to being with the kids again, the stressful times are outnumbered by the drop-to-your-knees-funny, and touching moments that are Quest...Hopefully everyone will be on their best behavior, and I don't just mean the kids.

I have five clocks in my life, and only one has the time right. I'll just unplug it for today.