planet earth turns slowly

Interview this morning at the Orinda Country Club. It was like the Claremont…beautifully and elaborately decorated for the holidays, important people walking in and out, money being flashed to get more of whatever it is they do there… And then there was me. I met with all of the “Presidents” and “V.P.’s” of this and that for the interview, it was nerve wracking. When I left and shook all their hands, one of them looked me in the eye and said “I feel honored to have met a real life hero.” It was out of character for how the rest of the meeting had been. It was a simple gesture, but it was nice, and he meant it. Weird that someone thinks of me that way.

The wind is biting. I like the feeling, it makes you feel alive.

((Sometimes I feel as if I am waiting for something. Something I fear I will never get. Odd and unsettling. Easier said than done. The past is haunting. It’s not the same., it’s not what I want. Sometimes all you need is a little more, a little reassurance, a little bow on a box. Fragile: handle with care.))

Today is full of tired eyes, a needing, wintry winds, and stresses…I need a new heating pad and a cuddly nap.

[25 minutes later, standing in the cold and rain, the whole class locked out. It’s an omen.]

Apple strudel pop tarts make the bite less fierce, if only for a minute.

Christmas plans are coming into shape. This holiday is daunting. I remember when it was all carefree; trees, ornaments and holiday cookies… but now it’s as if stress has been added as an extra ingredient to the holiday cookies. Stress must be the sprinkles.

Haley is excited that she gets to have all her presents for people be secrets for the first time, being that she can drive herself now. I remember thinking that when I first had my license, but it’s cute none-the-less. The family has decided to do stockings for everyone, which I think are the most fun because they are all little gifts, inside jokes, personal memories. I finished a lot of shopping for things via the Internet thus far. Thank god for the Internet, no crowds, only keys and credit cards, and those I can handle.

…back to class\finals\reading.

Red is a sunset
Blazy and bright.
Red is feeling brave
With all your might.
Red is a sunburn
Spot on your nose,
Sometimes red
Is a red, red rose.
Red squiggles out
When you cut your hand.
Red is a brick and
A rubber band.

((you make me red))